2.10.14

It’s been a hard and odd week so far.

Monday was terrible, I didn’t even want to work at the school anymore after having the horrific year 10 group… I even wrote to my agent and made an appointment to speak to the head of dept after school.

The day did improve, my agent asked me to hang in there and see if it got better, the other lessons went okay and the chat with the head of dept made me feel a lot better. I realised that afterwards the dept/ head was slightly worried about me leaving, I can understand their concern. Afterall they got me in because a supply teacher left/asked to leave (I’m not sure what happened to them) and just after I’d done a week another supply teacher left on the friday and did not come back on the monday.

Up until now they had been aware that I had only wanted short-term and day-to-day contracts, and I knew that they wanted someone a bit more permanent. I sent him an email outlining the fact that 1) If I said I’d work at a place I wouldn’t leave or not come unless I was ill or injured. 2) If I found it intolerable I would give them at least 2 weeks notice and lastly, if they wanted me to stay until half term, or christmas all they had to do was ASK.

They emailed me back and said ‘Please would you stay until christmas?’

In the morning I walked in, nodded at them and said ‘Yes I will’ then went an carried on with my marking.

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It is nice to feel wanted and appreciated, it’s also nice that the head of dept. told a person in front of me that I am a lifesaver and not just a body in front of the kids.

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I decided that now I have the schools behaviour software that I can be more effective and also deal with a loom band issue. Basically there is a class that when I’m writing on the board flick loom band bands at me. They don’t hurt, I admit I can’t even feel them, but it is disrespectful and could cause me problems if one were to say hit me in the eye. The whole class have been giving me grief the last week or so. I decided that enough was enough and asked several senior members of staff to stop by the lesson.

It wasn’t a perfect option, however after one of the senior members came in, saw some loom bands on the floor, made them all empty their pockets, then started taking them all out of class one-by-one, they realised that they may have made a mistake.

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I also came to a compromise with a pair of girls in one of my other classes who I had back for detention today. It basically boils down to this – I will allow the class to not sit in a seating plan for one lesson. If they all behave then I will continue to do so – however, if they do not, the two girls will not only have a half hour detention with me, but will also HELP me write a new seating plan. We’ll see how that goes, I’m willing to give a little, but I’m not naive enough to think it’ll be a perfect ending.

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Therapy continues, this weeks session was very difficult and I don’t really want to go into it too much. Let’s just say it involved going over some bad memories that I have kept locked away for a long time and some other things that I have never really spoken about to anyone other than my partner. *sigh* I’m sorry to say that I pigged out afterwards. When I’m tired and upset I automatically go for food, then I’m not hungry so I don’t eat….then I pig out….you get the idea. I have spent so long trying not to rely on food as a comfort but it’s damn hard sometimes and I backslide.  Gotta keep at it, at least I haven’t eaten two tubs of ice cream yet this week!

I’ve also spoken with my dr and reduced my dosage of drugs. it’s only by 5mg but I’m wondering if it was a good idea as I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Tomorrow is with another difficult group so I had better grab some sleep. Goodnight.

I leave you with this video. (p.s. I feel sorry for the goldfish, but I’m sure it was only in the jar for a short time)

 

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